The Mortar, The Merrier!
by xXMethereaperXx
Summary: A canon style, almost no dialogue story in celebration of the 4th of July! STARRING: Flippy, Lumpy. FEATURING: Giggles, Flaky, Toothy, Cuddles, Sniffles.


Seeing as the 4th is here figured I'd make a smoochie/Canon episode in celebration. I've been planning another no dialogue story, so this is a way to help me prepare for it.

So, it's gonna involve fireworks, some of the show characters, and a whole lotta death.

Enjoy.

* * *

(Theme begins playing)

Book opens to the title page, 'The Mortar, The Merrier!' with a drawing of a military AA-Cannon beside it.

Starring: Flippy, Lumpy.

Featuring: Giggles, Flaky, Toothy, Cuddles, Sniffles.

**[][][]**

Scene opens to the city park. Sniffles is sitting at the picnic table, tinkering with his latest invention while Giggles and Flaky are setting up the blanket for the fourth of July picnic.

Cuddles and Toothy drop a bag of fireworks on the picnic table and begin searching through their cache.

Sniffles looks up and rolls his eyes before returning to his work.

Toothy cheers and holds up a box of firecrackers. Cuddles laughs and reveals a similarly colored pack of bottle rockets.

They bump into the table as they run for the field nearby, resulting in an angry outburst from the hard-working anteater.

Scene cuts to Lumpy at a booth, making various forms of fireworks. He picks up a chart describing the amount of gunpowder and colored phosphorous needed to make the indicated firework.

After attempting to decipher the instructions, he shrugs and crumples up the paper. He picks up a medium sized rocket and begins pouring in gunpowder from a small tin, soon finding it empty. Looking through the opening, he mumbles as he tosses the can aside and walks to a nearby barrel marked 'TNT' before prying the lid off.

He begins scooping the powder into a bucket when the bell on the counter begins ringing.

Camera pans to show Cuddles and Toothy.

Cuddle begins jumping and talking frantically while pointing to their fireworks.

Lumpy rubs his chin while thinking. Finally, a dimly lit light bulb appears over his head.

After fidgeting under the bench, he gives them both a lighter.

They cheer and thank him as he runs off. He nods with the feeling of accomplishment before returning to the barrel.

Now in the field, Cuddles and Toothy begin lighting and throwing firecrackers at each other. They laugh as they run in circles, avoiding each others attacks.

Flaky pulls a large jar of tea from her basket and begins filling two glasses, offering one to Giggles. She nods and takes the glass while pointing at clouds that make strange shapes.

Sniffles sighs happily and sets his invention on the ground, a remote control firework lighting robot. He pushes a button on his remote, causing the robot to begin rolling forward on it's treads. He let's go of the button, but the robot continues moving on it's own, changing directions and moving erratically while lighting nearby bushes on fire.

Sniffles gasps and begins chasing after it.

Cuddles and Toothy soon find themselves out of firecrackers, deciding to move onto the bottle rockets.

Toothy sticks one into the ground while Cuddles kneels and attempts to light the fuse. The lighter sparks, but doesn't ignite.

He makes a quizzical expression and continues trying to light it. All of a sudden, the lighter emits and enormous flame, causing the rabbit to burst into flame.

Toothy gasps while Cuddles begins running in circles slightly off screen.

Toothy runs off screen to help, but returns a couple seconds later and lights the bottle rocket with his own lighter.

Giggles and Flaky gasp while watching the even unfold. Flaky jumps off the blanket while Giggles grabs it and begins running toward Cuddles.

She throws the blanket over him, and begins hitting it to snuff out the flames.

Cuddles stands up, suffering only minor injuries and they both laugh nervously.

The robot slowly approaches him and re-ignites the fire before rolling away, Sniffles in tow.

Flaky watches in fear while the chase restarts. The fuse on the rocket disappears as it shoots into the air, veering in Flaky's direction.

It explodes near her, causing her to jump.

Flippy is walking nearby, smiling as the birds encircling him tweet happily. However, the screaming from the field scare them away as he looks in surprise at the chaos continues.

Flippy runs over and tackles Cuddles, quickly patting him to put out the fire. He turns to where Flaky is shouting and running in circles. Without looking, he kicks the robot on it's side and starts walking toward her.

Sniffles picks up the robot, panting with exhaustion.

Flippy stops the whimpering porcupine and begins snapping his fingers.

After receiving no signs of her hearing, he thinks up an idea.

Scene changes to night, Cuddles in bandages, Flaky with a hearing aid, and Sniffles back to work on his robot.

Toothy and Cuddles sit at the picnic table, frowning that the day went so badly. Giggles sighs as she begins packing up the picnic blanket and basket.

A horn honks as Flippy drives onto the field in his M35 Deuce-and-a-half.

After turning around and stopping, he hops from the cab and pulls the tarp of a military AA-Cannon.

Everyone begins cheering as Toothy and Cuddles rush to help him unload it.

From farther up the field, Lumpy walks into view, carrying a bag of fireworks and a bucket of water. He drops the bag and bucket onto the back of the truck alongside the mortar shells for the cannon.

Sniffles closes a panel on the robot and places it back on the ground. Doing a final control check, he grabs a handful of Toothy's bottle rockets, sticking them into the ground. Controlling the robot, he maneuvers it down the line, lighting every rocket except the last one.

He gives a strange look while tapping the button for the igniter.

With a sigh, he sets the remote aside and watches as the previous rockets shoot into the air.

Flaky watches the explosions, enjoying the lights and colors without hearing the report of the explosions. After flipping the switch on the hearing aid several times, she sighs and tosses it onto the ground.

Behind the cannon, Flippy picks up one of the heavy shells and inserts it into the cannon. Before firing, he remembered his medicine would be wearing off soon, so slid a pair of noise cancelling ear protection before firing.

The shell whistles into the air, exploding in a flourish of color and crackling stars.

Giggles cheers and claps as the cannon gets reloaded. Setting down the basket, she runs to the bag of fireworks Lumpy brought and selects a pack of sparklers. Grabbing a lighter off the picnic tables, she bumps the remote off the table and runs off.

The remote lands upside down, causing the robot to resume moving.

The cannon sends a second shell into the air.

Flippy nods in satisfaction as he walks to the truck and grabs another, accidentally bumping the bag, causing a large rocket made by Lumpy to fall in line beside his own.

Lumpy walks to the bag of fireworks and fumbles inside until he finds a pack of snakes. Excited, he begins checking his pockets for his lighter, not knowing what happened to it.

After sighing, he runs off screen to find another source of fire.

Toothy hit's the side of the cannon, remarking at the dull thud it made.

Cuddles' eyes widen as an idea comes to mind, and he pulls Toothy in the direction of the back of the cannon.

Giggles finds a clear spot and lights the sparkler. She waves it around happily as it threw sparks and smoke around. However, once it burnt to around the middle, the flame grew larger before exploding, showering her in sparks, causing a flame to begin.

She looks down before she starts running, screaming and flailing her arms.

Flaky is watching the stars, smiling as the colors from fireworks in the distance come into view, slowly drinking her glass of iced tea.

Behind her, the panicking chipmunk circles the screen, her screams unheard by the deaf porcupine.

Flippy sees this and runs off to help, leaving the cannon unattended.

Cuddles peaks around the corner and waves Toothy into view. Opening the loading tube, he climbs inside, visualizing a circus style form of him soaring through the air.

Toothy shrugs, and picks up the shell Flippy dropped.

Flippy waves for Sniffles to follow him as he runs to help Giggles. Behind them, the robot passes, heading toward the truck before turning toward the field.

Flippy tries to calm Giggles as he begins to put the fire out, but is accidentally slapped, causing his headphones to fall off.

He rubs his cheek and sees the flashes of the fireworks in the distance, causing his eyes to begin to twitch.

His mind jumps backwards to the jungles of Vietnam, the lights and star trails acting as white phosphorous raining down upon his troops.

Evil now in control, he grins and turns toward Sniffles, Giggles now completely forgot.

Sniffles turns and tries to run, but is not fast enough. He's grabbed and thrown onto the ground by the bear who pulls the pin from a grenade on his belt. Grabbing the anteaters mouth, he ties it around the grenade and twirls him around, sending him soaring into the air as it explodes, sending body parts and blood spilling through the air, appearing as another firework.

Flaky points upward and Oohs as the anteater disappears.

Flippy grins and looks for his next victim.

Lumpy returns and sees Toothy close the door on the mortar and sets his snake on the ground beside the light. He runs over and points to the button on the door, to which Toothy nods.

Lumpy fires the cannon, the pressure proving to be too much to launch a rabbit into the air, instead disintegrating him and jamming the cannon.

Toothy shrugs, causing Lumpy to say something along the lines of lame. He runs to the back of the truck and grabs his homemade rocket to load the chamber.

Flippy strangles out what little life was left in the chipmunk, oblivious that he is now on fire.

Seeing Flaky wasn't paying attention, he slowly sneaks up behind her, moving in for the kill.

The robot, however, returns to it's starting point and lights the last remaining bottle rocket, bumping into it causing it to veer off course toward the unsuspecting porcupine.

As it explodes, Flaky is blinded and stumbles backwards, falling onto the bear, succeeding in impaling him on her quills.

Lumpy loads his own rocket into the cannon, and gives Toothy the go-ahead to ignite it.

The overloaded rocket bursts inside the tube, sending fragments of shrapnel piercing the air.

Toothy is hit with the most of it and collapses into a heap beside the truck.

Lumpy, however, was only thrown backwards enough to knock him off his feet. He sits up and furiously shakes his head, noticing the blind porcupine stumbling around with a burning corpse on her back.

He gasps and grabs the bucket before running to her rescue.

Once reaching her, he tosses the contents of the bucket onto her, not realizing he neglected to empty the gunpowder from the bucket before filling it with water, the amount of explosive was enough to counter-act the water.

The resulting explosion destroyed half the park, throwing body parts and blood in all directions.

Camera zooms in on Lumpy's pack of snakes as the robot stops at it and lights it, causing the carbon to expand as the snake extends to triple it's height, then blows away in the wind.

_It's always best to get more bang for your buck!_

(Ending Theme begins, Credits roll.)

(The End)

* * *

Well, there you have it!

I hope you enjoyed it, I do feel like I left something out, it is 3:30 in the morning here…

Anyway, thanks for reading! I'll have another one like this up soon, "Oily to bed, Oily to rise!"

Have a happy fourth!


End file.
